


a song for a lover of long ago

by zzleepy



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Feels, M/M, Post-Break Up, Short Drabble, sadshit, word vomit, written at literally 3am sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:03:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23887894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzleepy/pseuds/zzleepy
Summary: seoho still hears geonhak’s voice in all the songs he listens to.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: lost love letters





	a song for a lover of long ago

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by a song very dear to me, “a song for a lover of long ago” by justin vernon. it’s a very beautiful song, if you have time please give it a listen. :)
> 
> this fic isnt very well thought, ig i was just high on the feels lmao my fingers just kept typing.
> 
> hope u like it ! <3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


seoho lets the ballad playing in his earphones fill his head, the piano that cradles the sorrowful voice of the singer drowns out the sound of the moving bus and the idle chatter of the passengers. like it was an unconscious habit, he notices the unplugged left earbud still hanging idly from the wire, and a subtle ache shoots through the walls of his chest, forcing old wounds open; it takes him back to a memory he could never bring himself to forget.  
  


they always sat at the back rows. seoho, as stubborn as he is, would always insist to sit next to the window, and geonhak occasionally chooses to be just as stubborn and fights for the spot just for the fun of it. it was a normal occurrence to them, to fight over very trivial subjects, to argue about things that rarely ever matter, but they hold it dear; those otherwise pointless conversations that allow them to unwind from stressful hours. they were each others’ escape; a home to return to at the end a harsh day, a reassurance— a pat on the back.  
  


he looks at the empty seats next to him on the other side of the bus and he watches an image of himself laugh with geonhak; tease him and poke his face when he’s trying to fall asleep. the memory paints a sad smile on seoho’s face, his heart clenching in a pain he couldn’t describe; perhaps from the nostalgia of a happiness he once had.  
  


when he settles himself back on the seat and closes his eyes, he feels the warmth of geonhak’s shoulder on his cheek. he remembers those moments into the ride when they would finally settle down; he’d lay his head on geonhak’s shoulder as music flows from his right earbud, while geonhak listens on the other.  
  


they’d enjoy the same type of music; soulful ballads and melancholic love songs, the same songs he listens to until now. he could still hear geonhak’s voice in it, how it fills his other ear and how it harmonizes beautifully with the song. he remembers the raw warmth in it; how it’s able to make his skin dance and light fireworks in his bones. he often joins in, and their voices, though belonging to opposite vocal ranges, would compliment each other so well; would ease and fall against each other like they were notes finding their way back to their song. he remembers bliss; remembers finding stars in geonhak’s eyes when they meet with his as they sing the song as if it was theirs, like it was meant for them and them alone.  
  


but much like the day it ended, the sound of droplets on the window drowns out the music, barely audible with one earbud as the rain starts a downpour. back then, seoho wished the rain was hard enough to drown out geonhak’s last goodbye, but unfortunately, he heard it loud and clear; along with the sound of footsteps he left behind and the tears seoho tried so hard to swallow.  
  


the song never sounded the same again. it sounds empty, like an unfinished music sheet, a forgotten rhythm, an unwritten masterpiece. the sorrow in the artist’s voice hit way too close to home, feeling too uncanny to the ache in seoho’s chest. it was rain singing with him now, it wasn’t geonhak anymore.  
  


he feels his heart throb; a longing sits at the pit of his stomach. perhaps a year wasn’t enough to drown out geonhak’s voice in all the songs he listens to; wasn’t enough to throw away the earphones that has too much of geonhak, wasn’t enough to get back half of his heart that he has given away. he watches the rain pour violently on the window, and he almost sees their reflection on the empty seats, leaning against each other asleep, peaceful and content. the ghosts they left behind lingers around mercilessly, the memory etched irremovable in every ballad seoho listened to.  
  


perhaps this is his punishment. he let insecurity get the better of him when geonhak tried so hard to assure him, even as he wasn’t sure of much himself, that he’d always be there for him. in fact, it was the only thing geonhak was sure of, and yet he chose to listen to the sirens of fear and doubt that rings in his head, when he could’ve just trusted the safety in geonhak’s voice. in the end, he chose to believe that loss was all there is to a love like theirs. this is his punishment, that the image of the happiness they once shared and could still be sharing no longer belongs to him, but to the remnants of their past.  
  


he’s in no place to complain, he’ll live with it until it’s no longer geonhak’s voice that he hears instead of the singer’s, until humming to the song doesn’t scratch painfully at his throat anymore, until the day is good enough to buy a new pair of earphones, good enough to let go of his old, worn-out ones. until then, maybe he’ll continue to listen— maybe a bit more. he’ll sing of geonhak’s name like a prayer, dance along with their ghosts, perhaps continue to hold the shattered pieces of their past in his hands, even if it leaves his palms bleeding.  
  


this is his punishment, after all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! <3 
> 
> if you are a bitch for seodo hmu [@svnnysvnwoo_](https://mobile.twitter.com/svnnysvnwoo_) and we can discuss their beautiful dynamic for four hours how bout that ;)


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